My Almost X-Rated Post

Story Photo Challenge

Several years ago as a joke, my daughter gave me a magnetic poetry kit called “Mixed-Up Romance Novel.”

For whatever reason, the kit ended up in a drawer in my kitchen. During the renovation, I uncovered them and finally pulled them out to play.

Needless to say, the magnets are rather graphic fragments of language one might find in the romance novel. You know the kind with a cover showing a half-naked man holding a beautiful woman, dressed in a low bodice gown, which almost qualifies as a “wardrobe malfunction.”

Of course, I wasn’t going to use these words and phrases as they are supposed to be used. What’s the fun in that? Instead I gave myself the challenge of writing something not exactly “romantic” with the phrases.

Mind you, this isn’t actually easy to do since most of the words and phrases are like “burning desire,” “hungry loins” and “bursting passion.” And these are the milder ones:~)

I had to work at it. Below is my attempt.

(click to enlarge the picture)

Now, I challenge you to give it a go. Write something that would NEVER end up in a romance novel. In other words, PG or PG-13 ratings apply.

Rules:

1) Use the words/phrases in my picture and/or the EXTRA PHRASES listed below.

2) You can choose how many words you use and how many sentences you make.

3) Any form of writing is acceptable — poetry, free style, fiction, etc.

4) It’s okay to add an occasional extra article, pronoun or conjunction.

5) Put the words and phrases you use in CAPS.

EXTRA PHRASES: Just in case you need a few more phrases, here are some I didn’t use:~)

“wand of pleasure, her tattered dress, slowly licking, gleaming sword, her glistening body, on the lips, throbbing loins, the butler watched, quivering flesh and leather couch.”

Due to other commitments, this will be my only post for the week. Feel free to copy the image and play with this. Come back anytime between now and next Monday with your responses. Oh, and you can play with the words more than once, if another idea tickles your fancy.

Have fun with this:~)

29 comments on “My Almost X-Rated Post

  1. Talon says:

    I’ll be back, Sara 🙂

  2. Talon says:

    Okay, here’s my magnetic tale (pun fully intended) 🙂

    A BUTLER WATCHED
    A TREMBLING maiden
    drink A BOTTLE OF WINE
    HE WANTED
    PASSIONATE KISSES
    on A LEATHER COUCH
    alas
    HE WAS HELPLESS TO RESIST
    A BIG DOG SLOWLY LICKING
    A GLEAMING SWORD

    • Sara says:

      @ Talon — Oh, you’re back already. That was fast:~) LOL I loved it. I was afraid no one would want to play with these words. I’m so pleased you did and so well:~)

  3. Fireblossom says:

    Oy. My brain hurts! LOL.

    • Sara says:

      @ Fireblossom — Now I thought you’d be one of the first to take on this challenge, but I do understand given your hectic schedule at your own site. As always, your ability to write wonderful poetry day and day is astounding. Do come back if you can:~)

  4. Lynn says:

    I love what you came up with! How funny. 🙂

    • Sara says:

      @ Lynn — Thanks. It was fun to do and not easy for me. I’m going to pass that recipe you had up. It sounded very good.

  5. Hilary says:

    Hi Sara .. that was great, as was Talon’s … love them both .. I’m into A-Z and going away tomorrow – brain has another gear .. but I could be back! Cheers Hilary

    • Sara says:

      @ Hilary — Hey, I didn’t expect you to try to this one. Anyone who writes a post a day based on a letter in alphabet is excused from all challenges until you finish your A-Z. I’m amazed you make it to leave comments. However, I have enjoyed your food oriented history posts very much…well except the one about herrings. I enjoyed the writing, but not the idea of eating that fish:~)

  6. I might come back…but I am squeezing in a couple extra books for the tour company and my eye is not cooperating very well…I need to ice and rest it often.

    I will just say “She put duct tape on her tattered dress, and found it worked as well as on the leather couch.”

    You are so clever – what a fun prompt

    • Sara says:

      @ Patricia — Oh, I loved that line! One sentence is perfectly find. As I said to Hilary, I realize some people have other time consuming commitments and I know your book reviews are very important to you. I really do think you’re good at book reviews. It’s not an easy thing to do — give an honest review, but you do. In addition, you always find some good in a story, even if it isn’t your cup of tea.

  7. Alien Ghost says:

    Hi Sara,

    I agree with Fireblossom above, LOL

    At the moment no combination of words that make sense can form in my mind. I’ll keep trying though. Interesting game anyway, and I guess a good exercise for creativity.

    Thank you 🙂

    Raul

    • Sara says:

      @ Raul — That’s okay. The nice thing about my challenges is I don’t expect everyone to want to play with them. It’s optional. And I certainly understand the days when the brain says, “Don’t go there!”

  8. Alien Ghost says:

    Funny you post this at the time I’m trying to stop my brain. I guess we are going opposite direction today! LOL

    • Sara says:

      @ Raul — I did notice that when I read your post. Finding time to quiet the brain is a good exercise for everyone. I enjoyed your post about this very much:~)

  9. jean sampson says:

    Well, as usual, I am going to make up my own passionate words and phrases, so here goes!

    She was wearing a low cut dress
    that she had found in an old trunk
    in the spooky, cobwebbed attic.
    It hung off her pretty shoulders
    in a most fetching way.
    She was, in fact, quite irresistible,
    her pouty lips red with lipstick,
    her hair just messy enough.

    He let the bottle in his hands
    slip, spilling its liquid on the floor,
    just barely missing the howling dog,
    whose tongue could not lick it up fast enough!
    The cat, hiding under the bed,
    could hear the smacking of lips,
    the licking of finger tips.

    “I hope my Mom won’t be mad
    at the mess we made making popcorn,” she said.
    “Maybe the butler will take care of it,” He answered.

    “I

    • Sara says:

      @ Jean — did the comment box shut you off. The last part seems to be missing. On the other hand, kudos for you for writing this. It was a clever take and you know me — I believe in painting OUT of the lines. What’s the fun of obeying all the rules? So, I’m pleased you wrote your own take on this. It was very well done:~)

      • jean sampson says:

        Sara, I don’t know where that stray “I came from! The computer troll, probably! I think the story ended where it seemed to end—-but my hand might have kept going after my brain shut down! It often happens to me! 🙂

  10. Liza says:

    The uncharted continent
    Dropped down on the floor
    Wearing nothing but a bottle of wine.
    He cried out,
    For he was a saber-toothed tiger!
    Trembling, helpless to resist,
    He petted his head
    And barked at the moon.
    He dreamed;
    The butler watched.

    Doesn’t make any sense, but I figured maybe the butler could be watching his boss have a nightmare? 😉

  11. Kelvin Kao says:

    Hahaha, that story kind of makes sense!

    Here we go:
    a saber-toothed tiger barked at the moon
    and revealed she was a big dog
    wearing nothing but her naked body
    she wanted passionate kisses on the lips
    but she dropped a bottle of wine on the floor
    she was helpless to resist slowly licking
    the bottle of wine dropped down on the floor

    • Sara says:

      @ Kelvin — LOL You did a wonderful job with this. Oh, and I loved the music video. You were fantastic and no one would even know it was you:~) Such a gift to be able to make something come alive like you do with the puppets.

  12. Gretch says:

    This. Is really funny!
    I can’t think of anything witty at the moment but what you’ve put up above is pure genius.

    And it’s really fun reading what everyone else wrote. 😀

    Nice post!

  13. Gerri says:

    I have lots of fun with my magnetic poetry kit. 🙂

  14. Patty says:

    This was so fun Sara! I love your story and reading the others too. My story is kind of sad. He feels like some poor besotted Rudyard Kipling character who longs for adventure. Still, I loved putting the words together!

    The butler watched the moon
    he dreamed of
    a saber-toothed tiger
    a gleaming sword
    the uncharted continent.

    He shuddered
    cried out, trembling.
    He wanted the uncharted continent
    but he was helpless to resist
    the bottle of wine on the lips.

  15. Erin says:

    I’m not sure that I could do this….like at all….I suck at writing…

    That was hilarious though. Hahahahaha.

  16. Valerie says:

    Sara, I’ve been toying with these words and phrases for awhile now, trying to match what you came up with-and no way could I do it. Yours is magnificent!
    But here goes…I had a few “leftovers” too!

    Trembling, he opened a bottle of wine. He dreamed of the uncharted continent, and he wanted a saber-toothed tiger. She dropped down on the floor, wearing nothing but a corset, and petted his head. He shuddered, a big dog helpless to resist her naked body, and he barked at the moon.

Comments are closed.